


Facing the Truth

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Gen, Medium Length, Torture, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-07
Updated: 2003-07-07
Packaged: 2019-04-27 06:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Scully confronts Mulder about his past with Diana Fowley.





	Facing the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

Facing the Truth

## Facing the Truth

### by Sally Bahnsen

Title: FACING THE TRUTH 

Author: Sally Bahnsen 

Email: - 

Category: Post Ep, MT, SC, A, UST 

Rating: PG-13 for bad language 

Summary: After the events of Two Fathers, One Son, Scully confronts Mulder about his past with Diana. 

Spoilers: Hmm, yes there is, especially for Two Fathers, One son. 

Written for the ATF list. 

Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully are CC's, not that he deserves them but there you are, he owns them. He owns Diana too, and that was one of his biggest mistakes. She's all yours CC, after this story I never want to have think about her again. Oh, and no money is made from this. I'm just borrowing then reluctantly returning them (except for Diana, she goes back with no regrets.) 

Thank you to- Vickie for helping me justify my anti Diana cause. Thanks to Suz for a really quick turnaround and confirming things I suspected to be true. Thanks to my really good buddies Judie and Kristen. Judie for the hours of telephone conversations and Kristen for detailed betaing that goes beyond the call of duty. Thank you to TJ for your comments in the midst of RL chaos, and a very big thank you to Mary for providing me with much-needed guidance in comma placement. You guys are the best! 

Author's notes at the end. 

All feedback is gratefully accepted  
and replied to. - 

Mulder first person POV 

**FACING THE TRUTH**

By Sally Bahnsen 

* * *

Local Gym 

Washington D.C. 

One day after the events of Two Fathers, One Son. 

10: 09PM 

* * *

They wanted answers. Demanded them really. After taking my work from me they were still justifying their disinterest by claiming ignorance. Ignorance is bliss. Declaring it enables them absolution from blame. Allows them to place the responsibility somewhere else. And where better to lay it than at the feet of the man who has been their lowly scapegoat for the past 7 years. I'm tired of it. I'm fed up to my very core with the deceit, the lies, the pain. My pain, Scully's pain, my parents, my sister, shall I go on? And now I have discovered a new deception. One, I too, am trying to justify. One I want to attribute to anything but the truth I know it to be. Ignorance is truly bliss. And 48 hours ago, I was living blissfully unaware of just how complete a fool they have made me. 

And just who are 'they' you may ask? Faceless men wielding their power and hiding amongst us. Someone's father, brother, son. Are they all dead now? Did the threat of colonization end with their demise? Or was it another sham, a smokescreen, a deadly hoax? Is it over? Is it? I've asked myself that a thousand times and each time a resounding NO! is screamed back at me. Not while they are still out there. Men like CGB and Krycek. And women like...No. Let's not go there. Not yet. I'm not ready. 

And, so, here I am. Back in the gym. Pounding the boards, trying to lose myself in the heady rush of endorphins. Doing everything and doing nothing. Buying myself time before I confront the inevitable truth that is haunting my every waking moment. Here I can forget. In the gym I'm just a guy shooting hoops. I know nothing of the conspiracy that threatens the very existence of mankind. Here, I'm blameless. Here, nothing more is expected of me than scoring a few baskets. 

In a way, the simplicity of the gym has become my haven. 

Its newness surrounds me and lets me believe that life will go on. In the fresh coat of paint, the polished wooden floorboards and the faint smell of lacquer, I find hope. Strange? You better believe it. Why would you expect anything less from me? 

My fellow patrons have no idea how close they came to losing their freedom and their lives. They come, they play, and they leave. They go home to families and friends. Here I can pretend to be like them. I can wrap myself in their ignorance and make believe that everything will be all right. Even if only for an hour or two. 

But tonight there's no one else to distract me. I'm here alone. Just the ball, the hoop and me. And an assortment of memories I wish I could forget. 

I juggle the basketball between my hands, gauging its weight, enjoying the feel of leather as it ricochets between my palms. Two quick bounces and I take off. Striding towards the ring, the rhythmic thud of ball against wood echoing off the walls. 

The ball hits the backboard then drops through the hoop. I take my own rebound and dribble back to the center. Then turn to start the process again. 

"A little one on one, Mulder?" 

Scully's question shatters my concentration as I line up a three point shot. The ball falls short of its target. 

"What are you doing here, Scully?" 

She drops her bag by the bench and saunters across the court, dressed in sweat pants, sneakers and a t-shirt that hangs almost to her knees. She says nothing. Simply continues towards me. A living, breathing reminder of what I came here to forget. Am I happy to see her? No. Yes. I don't know. 

She's wearing my shirt. 

"Hey, isn't that _my_ Knicks t-shirt?" I ask, nodding towards her chest. 

A quick glance down at herself and then she's looking back at me. "Not any more." 

I shrug. It looks better on her than it ever did on me. 

"Why are you here?" I walk over to where the ball has landed by the back wall and pick it up, hoping she isn't intending to stay. 

Scully follows. "Why am I here? Well, you weren't at work today and your cell phone diverts straight to voice mail. This seems to be your favored place of residence lately, so ... I figured I might find you here." 

"Okay, here I am. Now what do you want?" I give the ball a couple of quick bounces. 

"I want to play ball, Mulder." She's standing in front of me now. Her eyes are locked with mine, hands resting defiantly on her hips. And she doesn't look like she plans on leaving anytime soon. 

"Really? Who were you thinking of playing against?" 

She grabs the ball out of my hand and takes a step back. "You." 

Me. 

"Um, Scully." I give her the once over and wave my hand between us, indicating our height difference. "We're not exactly evenly matched." 

"Oh, I don't know." She bounces the ball a couple of times and then drops her voice to a whisper. " I promise to go easy on you." 

And before I have a chance to answer she dribbles around me and drives to the basket, making a perfect lay up. I hate to admit it, but I'm impressed. 

"Aren't you supposed to try to stop me, Mulder?" 

So, she really does want to play. Fine. I'll wrap this up quickly and she can be on her way. I wave her towards me. "Bring it on, Scully." 

She crouches low, dribbling the ball at her feet. Forwards, back, to the side. I take up a defensive stance, one arm up, the other guarding low, ready to pluck the ball from her hands. "Come on, Scully, let's see what you've got." 

She ducks to my right; I go with her. She pulls back then feints to the left, I'm there too but she changes direction and drives around me. Before I can regain my balance, she's at the basket again and scores. 

I'm seeing a side of Scully I never knew existed. 

"You've been keeping secrets, Scully." 

"Secrets are the order of the day it would seem, Mulder." She bounces the ball and heads back to the center of the court. 

"What does that mean?" I stay where I am, hands propped on my hips. 

"Let's play, Mulder. First one to 20 points." 

She avoids my question as easily as she skirted my defense earlier and starts to go on the attack again. I up the ante; my ego getting the better of me. This time when she attempts to side step me, I cut her off and hit the ball from her hands. A couple of bounces gets me back to the center circle and I turn and drive for the basket. My shot goes in and I toss the ball back to Scully. The twinkle is gone from her eye--in its place there's a glint of steel. 

"That's 4...2," she states before taking off at a run again, heading towards the center. 

What she lacks in height is more than made up for in determination. I know this, yet I find it difficult to take her challenge seriously. Eventually I will win. 

She starts to come at me, showing no sign of backing off. Fine. I stand still, ready to take the charge, but at the last second, she steps around me and makes a jump shot. This time she tosses the ball back at me and it packs some power behind it. 

"Six...two, Mulder." She's puffing now and there's a thin film of sweat on her face. 

I turn to the basket and without bothering to move, sink the ball from outside the key making a three point shot. 

"Six...five. Scully" I toss the ball back at her. 

A stray strand of hair has slipped free from her ponytail and it hangs limp across her eyes. She puffs it out of the way and wipes the back of one hand across her brow. Her mouth is set in a straight line as she walks back to the halfway mark. 

Our eyes lock as she starts to bounce the ball. I get the impression _she_ is toying with _me_ as she moves towards me slowly, just walking and bouncing. I crouch down to guard her. The bouncing quickens, and she adds some footwork, shuffling her feet backwards and forwards, waiting, judging, figuring out the best way to get around me. I'm just as determined to stop her this time. 

She darts towards me. I'm ready for her. Then she stops, just dribbling the ball in one spot. "So, Mulder, when are you going share your secret?" 

What? I drop my arms and stand up straight. It's the break she's been looking for and she takes off at full speed. I step into her path but instead of sidestepping she ploughs straight into me. Woomph! The breath is knocked from my lungs and I double over clutching my stomach. Through my peripheral vision I see Scully sitting flat on her ass. The ball still in her hands. 

I squat down, one hand on the floor for balance the other wrapped around my middle as I try to force air into my lungs. 

Scully gets to her feet and brushes off her rear. I push myself up, still bent over but starting to take in some air. 

"Sorry, Mulder." 

I nod my head, not trusting my voice to operate with anything more than a squeak. 

She hands me the ball. "That was my foul, it's your ball." 

I suck in a deep breath, let it out slowly and walk back to the center, giving myself some recovery time. Scully has set herself up in a defensive stance. Eyes totally focused on the ball as I start a slow dribble. Her face is a mask of concentration and she swipes ineffectually at that loose lock of hair. 

"Hey, Scully, would you think less of me if I told you your youthful display of girlish athleticism is turning me on." 

"Shut up and play ball, Mulder." 

There's more to this game than exercise and fun. It's time to call her on it. 

I move slowly towards her. "Have I done something to piss you off, Scully?" 

She meets me head on, one hand flailing at the ball, trying on a steal, but I protect it with my body. 

"You haven't answered my question." I say to her, puffing. "Are you pissed at me?" 

"Now, why would you have that impression, Mulder?" She lunges at the ball but I side step her and once again drive to the basket and make the shot. "I believe that's 7...6." And toss her the ball. 

Five or six long, angry strides and she's back to the center and we start again. Her expression tells me she has no intention of easing up. She huffs angrily at a new strand of hair that has worked itself loose, and drives towards the basket, stopping suddenly then slowly moving backwards. 

"You've done this before." 

"You better believe it, Mulder." She dodges to my left, threatening to take me on but I reach out my hand and snatch the ball from her as she goes past. I drive around her, back to the center, then without pausing make a beeline for the basket. 

From the corner of my eye I can see Scully hot on my trail. I decide to play with her a little and pull up short. She races past me and gets into position to defend. By the look on her face you'd think we were playing for blood. And I wonder briefly why she seems set on turning this into some kind of grudge match. 

I dribble the ball in front of me. She makes a grab at it, but I'm too quick and redirect it between my legs, swapping hands as I continue bouncing. "Come on, Scully, come and get it." My teasing only seems to incite her more and she lunges forward, at the same time swatting at the ball with her hand. I move back, still bouncing. I dribble to the side, in front, behind my back, through my legs and no matter how much she slaps and hits at the ball she isn't able to get it. I move gradually away from her, preparing for the grand finale. Scully is panting openly now, and I can feel the sweat sliding down my back and chest, dripping off the end of my chin. 

Scully stays put as I continue my retreat to the center. My intention is to drive at the basket, dribble around her and impress her with a slam-dunk. Just to show her who is really king of the hoops. 

I take off at a full run. Scully immediately goes with me. She is closer to the basket and manages to stay in front. I head towards the ring but Scully steps into my path as I prepare to launch myself through the air. I have nowhere to go. No matter how tough she thinks she is the impact of my body slamming into hers can only end up badly. In an awkward twist, I try to jump to the side. It throws me off balance and as I land, my right ankle rolls under me with a sickening crunch. Agony shoots through my foot, robbing me of breath and sending me crashing to the floor in a tangled heap. "Fuck! Shit!" 

With both hands firmly wrapped around my injured ankle, I lie on the floor, writhing. 

"Mulder! Are you all right?" 

"Shit...No!" 

Wave after wave of pure agony rolls through my ankle and I don't even bother to stifle my groans. 

"Lay back, Mulder. Let me take a look." 

"No," I grind out. "Leave me alone." Oh, God. I turn my face into the floor, eyes squeezed shut and just try to wait it out. 

"Mulder? I...I'm sorry." 

"Scully...just...just give me...a minute." The only thing I'm concerned with is the pain in my ankle and somehow dealing with it. 

I feel Scully trying to pry my hands loose. "Mulder, let me take a look. I need to see what you've done." 

"It's not...rocket science, Scully! I've twisted...my damn ankle." Despite my protests, I let her pry my hands loose from the death grip on my foot. She gently runs her fingers over the side of my ankle. 

"It's already swelling. We need to get some ice on it. Can you sit up?" 

Probably, but I'm not sure I want to. 

Without waiting for my reply, Scully grasps me under the arms and hauls me to a sitting position. I keep my foot carefully suspended above the ground. 

The sudden spike of agony has settled down to a rhythmic throb, and I begin to think that I might survive this. Carefully, I slide myself back so I'm resting against the wall. Scully settles herself by my feet and starts probing my ankle. "Shit! Scully! Watch it!" 

"Sorry." Leaving me to sit in not-so-silent agony, she crouches back on her haunches and scans the gym. "Any idea where I might find some ice?" 

"There's...an ice machine." I nod towards the door. "Out in the foyer." 

"I'll be right back." She gives my thigh a light reassuring pat and heads off. 

I let out a long breath and tip my head back against the wall. Great. Just what I need. A perfect end to a perfectly lousy week. I knew it was a bad idea for Scully to be here. My eyelids slip shut and I can barely keep from moaning as a solid pounding throb undulates through my ankle. I let my right hand wander towards my knee and massage the muscle there: a feeble attempt at relief. 

"Mulder?" 

I raise an eyelid. Scully is standing next to me, a bag of ice in one hand and a small towel in the other. 

"I'm still here, Scully." 

"Are you okay?" 

"Just...wonderful." 

She crouches down beside me, wrapping the ice in the towel. I flinch slightly when she lays it across my ankle. "How does it feel?" 

"Have you ever sprained your ankle, Scully?" 

"Once or twice." 

"Well, then, you should know how it feels." 

She drops her head to her chest. "Mulder..." 

I wait but she doesn't continue. "What, Scully?" 

"I...I'm sorry. This is my fault." 

I snort quietly. "Isn't that my line?" 

There is a slight lift at the corners of her mouth and she turns to meet my gaze. "Do you think you can make it to the bench? You really should elevate your foot." 

The bench she's referring to is against the wall to our left, not far from the exit, but a good 20 yards or so from us. I'm less than thrilled at the prospect of moving. 

Scully stands, taking the icepack, and offers me her hand. "Come on, I'll help you." 

I take hold of her hand and allow her to pull me up, using the floor as leverage. For a second my head spins and the thud in my ankle reaches new heights as the blood rushes to my feet. Leaning against the wall, I keep my foot off the ground and attempt to regain some composure. Scully stands by, one hand on my arm and looking as if she fears I might land flat on my face. 

Tentatively, I put my right foot to the floor. It hurts, but I think I can make it across the room. 

"Mulder, try not to put weight on it." She drapes my right arm across her shoulder. "Lean on me." 

Yeah, right. Easier said than done. 

Clenching my teeth, I limp, with Scully's help, towards the bench. 

"Sit, Mulder." 

I sit down, scoot along the bench and let Scully fuss over my ankle. She sits beside me and reapplies the ice then slides my gym bag under my foot. 

"Mulder...I'm sorry you got hurt." 

"Hmph. Not half as sorry as I am. This will keep me out of action for a couple of weeks and the guys had a big game planned for tomorrow. Wait till they hear I was getting beaten by a girl." I give her arm a playful punch so she knows I'm joking. 

For a second she looks as if she wants to cry and I wonder if I hit her harder than I intended. 

"Scully?" 

"You didn't hurt yourself, Mulder." 

"Well, strictly speaking, no. It was an accident. But..." 

"This was my fault." She starts to loosen my shoelaces. 

"Yeah, you keep saying that. Please explain how me landing awkwardly is your fault? Unless you've figured out a way to control the laws of gravity." 

Scully doesn't look at me; her attention focused on the task of removing my shoe. I brace myself as she eases it off my foot. "I got in the way. If I hadn't tried to block you, it wouldn't have happened." 

"In case you hadn't noticed, that's the whole point of the game." 

"Yeah, but I had my own agenda. And it wasn't just scoring baskets," She says quietly, making sure the ice pack is back in place. 

I tap her on the shoulder. "I'm all ears." 

Her eyes are still focused towards my foot. "Mulder, I came here tonight to talk to you about something. Something I think we need to get out in the open." 

"We've got one thing out in the open; you're a damn good ball player. Where did you learn to play like that?" 

"Bill. And Charlie. And pick up games on navy bases." 

"Ah, yes." I should have guessed. 

Scully lifts her head, thrusts her chin forward and looks me in the eye. "I want you to tell me about Diana." 

"Scully." No. This is exactly what I was afraid of. 

She gets to her feet, tucking her hands under her arms and then walks a few steps away keeping her back to me. "Mulder, I need to know the truth." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Not now, Scully. I'm not ready to go there. 

Scully turns suddenly to face me. "Mulder..." She sighs, takes a breath, and decides to press on. "We've been partners for five years. During that time... after all the evidence against her, why do you continue to just blindly defend her? I don't understand it." 

"Scully, leave it alone." She's forcing me into the confrontation I've so diligently tried to avoid. I can't do this. I just can't. 

But she doesn't quit. "No. Not this time. I deserve an answer. If that woman is involved in the conspiracy, if she's part of that group who planned and orchestrated my abduction and put this chip in my neck..." She lifts her ponytail to make her point. "And cost me the life of my sister and hell, Mulder, your father, too! Don't you want to know? Aren't you the least bit curious?" 

"No!" Yes. Maybe. But not now. _Not here._

"Well, why the hell not!?" 

"Because she wouldn't betray me! I trust her." But even as I say the words, feel the lie pass my lips; I know them to be untrue. It is so hard to admit it, to accept it. 

"You trust her. Just like that. No ifs, buts or maybes. Fine! Maybe you should partner up with her again." She grabs her gym bag from beside the bench and starts searching through it. 

"What are you doing?" 

Again she huffs a sigh. Without turning around she replies, "I'm leaving. There's nothing for me here." 

"What do you mean?" I ask with a sudden surge of panic. 

"Mulder...where Diana Fowley is concerned...there's no reasoning with you. You are so completely blind to any possibility that she just _might_ betray you that it's pointless for me to even try to convince you otherwise." 

"Scully..." 

"No. I can't be with you knowing what I know about that woman. She's a risk to you and to me, and the X files. And while your judgment is clouded by whatever the hell she seems to be holding over you... well, maybe I need to rethink my priorities." 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Fear uncoils in my stomach like a living creature. 

"It means I'm going to see Skinner tomorrow and request some time off." 

"With a view to ...?" 

"Reassignment." 

"Scully, no." 

I edge along the bench, the pain in my ankle paling in comparison to the ache in my chest. 

She pulls the car keys from her bag and stands up. "Do you need a ride home?" 

"No...I..." 

She turns towards the door. 

"NO! WAIT!" I lunge to my feet. "Ah Fuck!" And immediately regret the action. Shit! I hop blindly back to the bench and draw my knee up, clutching my ankle. 

"Mulder! What the hell do you think you're doing?" 

That's the sixty-four thousand dollar question, isn't it? And the answer is: thought didn't even enter into the equation. But the effort required to voice that fact just doesn't seem worth it. 

"Are you all right?" she asks coolly, appraising me with a skeptical eye. 

I nod my head. 

"That wasn't very smart, you know." 

"No argument here." I say through gritted teeth, and rest my head on my knee. 

She hesitates, and then heaving a sigh, drops her bag to the floor and walks towards me. "Foot up." She says, indicating my gym bag. Again, I scoot along the bench and raise my leg. 

She picks up the icepack and puts it back on my ankle, keeping it in place with her hand as she sits beside me. 

"You probably should get this X rayed." 

"Probably," I say, rubbing my hands across my eyes. 

"But you won't." 

"Probably not." 

We sit in silence. And I wonder about the circumstances that led us to this point. About the domino effect of an action that took place back in 1991 and the way the toppling is able to reach across a 7-year time span. Still making an impact all these years later. 

"Scully. I have a confession." 

She lifts an eyebrow. 

"I do need a ride home." 

She chuckles quietly, shaking her head. 

"What?" 

"I don't know, Mulder. I guess I thought you were going to admit to something more...profound." 

"Hey, it's not easy for a guy to admit he doesn't have wheels." 

"Apparently it's not easy for a guy to admit to a lot of things." 

"Touche." 

"Mulder. Let's get you out of here. I'll bring my car around front." 

I grab her hand as she gets up to leave. "Not yet. Let's...Let's just sit for awhile." I'm not sure why I stop her. I just...I need to make things right. 

"Is your ankle bothering you that much?" 

"No. Well, yes, but that's not the reason." I pause, licking my lips as I try to figure out what to say. "Scully...I...about Diana." Instinctively her body tenses. "It's kind of a long story. And...I..." 

"It's late, Mulder, and you're in pain. I know I said I wanted to have this out with you but... we don't have to do it now. I was...I guess I was angry." 

I ignore her. As much as I want to keep avoiding the subject, it has to be now. "I learned something the other night. Something that got me thinking." I swallow hard; this isn't easy. The truth is crushing me with its insistence. Demanding me to let it loose. "I went to Diana's apartment." 

Scully's bristling is almost indiscernible. She purses her lips in an obstinate pout and lifts her chin. "Why?" 

"It doesn't matter now." 

She links her arms across her chest and glares at me. The ice pack slides off my ankle and I crumble under her scrutiny. "I was looking for evidence." 

"Of what?" 

"She's a part of it, Scully. Of everything we've been fighting against." 

Scully looks as if she's going to choke. "Mulder!" 

"I know. I should have listened." I lean towards her. "Hey, can you do me a favor? Have a look here." I point to my forehead. "Do I have the word 'sucker' tattooed on my skin? Because it's sure starting to feel like everyone in my life is out to take me for a ride." 

She offers me a sad smile. "Not everyone, Mulder." 

We look at each other for a few seconds, me searching for confirmation that what we share isn't an illusion created by mirrors and slight of hand, and her...I guess she's trying to convince me of the same thing. The moment passes and so does my doubt, but not my self-loathing. How could I have been so blind? 

Scully breaks me out of my reverie. "Why are you willing to believe it now? After all the evidence I've shown you, the evidence you've chosen to ignore." 

I grunt quietly. "You of all people should understand the need for irrefutable proof, Scully." 

She allows the corners of her lips to lift a fraction. "So, what changed your mind?" 

"The smoking man." 

She tips her head to the side, silently questioning me. 

"He came to Agent Fowley's apartment while I was there. He let himself in. Like he had every right to be there." 

"Mulder, if you knew this, then what was all that crap about her not betraying you? Surely you don't still trust her." 

I close my eyes and slowly shake my head. "It's...complicated." 

Scully takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. "So, what was he doing there?" 

"He said he was looking for his son." 

"Jeffrey Spender?" 

"Yeah." 

"At Agent Fowley's apartment?" Scully's question is dripping with disbelief. 

"So he said." 

"You don't believe that, do you?" 

I look at her. And she knows I don't. 

"I didn't want to believe Diana was against me. I thought I knew her. But clearly, I don't anymore." 

Scully looks away, wrestling with what she wants to say. When she finally speaks, it's to the floor, not to me. "Where did you meet her, Mulder? What happened to make you trust her unconditionally?" 

My tongue suddenly seems too big for my mouth as I contemplate her question. Everything I came here to forget is being paraded in front of me. Lies, betrayal. And now I'm being asked to share a secret I've never discussed with anyone. 

"Mulder?" 

I decide to start at the beginning. Get this over and done with. "Diana and I were working a case together--her case actually--and I'd been called in as a specialist profiler. It was early 1991." 

"You were out of the Behavioral Science Unit." 

"I was. I'd been out in the field for a few months. You remember Jerry Lamana?" 

She nods. 

"I'd just been partnered with him. Apparently my time with Patterson must have counted for something. I'd made quite a reputation for myself and occasionally would be called on to help out on the more difficult cases." 

"And this is when you met Diana." 

I shift my leg a little, attempting to alleviate the escalating thud in my ankle. Scully adjusts the ice pack and rests her hand lightly on top. 

"She was the Agent in Charge. It was a missing persons case." I pause wondering how to explain the order of events that pushed me onto a path it would seem I had little choice in taking. 

The hand that had been resting against my ankle edges along my shin and Scully gently strokes my leg. "Mu--" 

I hold up my hand. "It's okay." I lick my lips and forge ahead. "I'd undergone the regression hypnosis nearly 2 years earlier. In my spare time, I was researching everything I could find on alien abduction. Towards the end of 1990 I actually investigated my first X file. Only at the time I didn't understand the full ramifications of what they were, what they could mean." 

Scully continues to absently rub her hand along my shin. She's quiet, pensive and doesn't interrupt me. 

"Anyway, it was just before I was called to assist with the missing person's case that I actually found where all the old case files had been stashed. I began reading them. I was fascinated and realized that they might provide a means by which I could investigate Samantha's disappearance with the full use of bureau resources. 

"When I started profiling Diana's case, I found there were a few things that didn't add up. More and more of the evidence, the clues, were the same as what I'd been reading in the X Files. At first I thought I was being influenced by my experience with Samantha and that my head was so full of alien abduction scenarios that I was projecting them onto this case." 

Scully still doesn't say anything, instead lifts the ice pack, which is now more of a water bag, and sets it aside. "Do you have a bandage in your bag?" 

Carefully, I lift my foot off my gym bag so she can access it. "Try the side pocket." 

I use the time-out to examine my injury. Quite impressive by anyone's standard. The outside of my ankle has swollen to twice its normal size, despite the ice treatment. This is going to hurt like hell tomorrow. 

Scully rummaging around in my bag pays off and she produces a slightly worn elastic bandage, complete with clip. "This looks like you've had your money's worth, Mulder." 

I smile sheepishly. "It's served me well over the years." 

She settles herself against the wall and pats her lap. "Foot." 

I lay it across her knees and she starts to work at my sock. "This might hurt a bit." 

"AH Shit!" Not even close, Scully. It hurts a lot. I clench my teeth and sit rigid as she eases the offending garment over my ankle. 

"All done." She traces a finger over the swelling then lays her palm gently across the worst area, rubbing lightly. "Go on, Mulder, you were up to the part about things not adding up on the missing person's case." 

While Scully wraps the bandage, I continue my tale. "Okay...the more I studied the evidence, the more I became convinced that I wasn't imagining it. I was sure we were looking at several cases of alien abduction." I sigh quietly. "What I didn't know, was how the hell I was going to break the news to Diana and the rest of the team." 

I pause, gripping the side of the bench when Scully inadvertently jerks my foot. 

"Sorry, Mulder. I'm trying to be gentle." 

I nod, clenching my teeth together. 

"So, what did you do?" 

Sucking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly before continuing. "As it happened, I found Diana alone in the command center one night. She was deep in thought and poring over a pile of notes. She looked troubled. We started talking about the case and..." I let out a soft snort. "And she ran the alien abduction theory by me. Scully, you could have knocked me over with a feather. It was the last thing I expected." 

"I'm sure." 

"It was pretty late and the rest of the task force had gone home for the night. I told Diana what I suspected and one thing led to another and before I knew it I'd told her everything. About Samantha, the X Files, my growing interest in the paranormal and my desire to investigate the X files and make them a legitimate section within the FBI mainstream." 

"Diana offered to help you." 

"Yes. But not outright. She had friends in high places, some favors she could call in. She was able to bypass the Bureau hierarchy and go straight to Congress. I was working on the X Files within two months of wrapping up the missing person's case." 

"And was it alien abduction?" 

"Huh?" 

"The case you and...Agent Fowley were working." 

"It was a classic case, Scully. In every possible way. Including the clean up and cover up. The missing people came back, no memory of where they'd been, and their families, although grateful for our help, didn't want any more disruption to their lives. It's filed away down in the basement." 

"And that's it?" 

"That's what?" 

"That's why you've given her your trust?" 

"That and..." I hesitate, not sure how to put into words the circumstances that bound Diana to me a little over 7 years ago. 

"Mulder?" 

"Diana got pregnant-Ah! Scully! Shit, what are you doing?" She has pushed the clip through the layers of elastic, catching my skin in the process. I try to snatch my foot away but she holds tight. 

"Sorry." Scully makes another attempt, this time taking more care with her aim. Without looking up she asks quietly, "Were you the father?" 

"What?!" 

Her gaze locks onto mine. "Was it your baby?" 

"You think _I_ got her pregnant?" If the look on Scully's face weren't so serious I'd be laughing. 

"You were dating," she states matter-of-factly. 

It takes me two attempts to get the words out. "What the hell are you talking about? We were friends, Scully! Where did you--?" And suddenly it dawns on me. "You thought Diana and I were...what? _Sleeping_ together?" 

Stony-faced, Scully just stares at me. 

"Where the hell did you get that idea from?" 

"Fro,,," She stops herself from saying something. "It doesn't matter, Mulder. I just assumed...there had to be a reason you behaved the way you did around her." 

"I behaved the way I did around her because...because out of some stupid sense of loyalty I still felt I needed to protect her. But I can assure you, Scully, there was never anything more between Diana and myself other than friendship. When she came to me and told me she was pregnant, she was a mess. The guy was in the bureau, high up in the chain of command, I never knew his name, but he had the potential to ruin her career. The relationship was over and she needed help. I guess she thought she could trust me." 

"What did you do?" 

"Not a great deal, really. Everything was arranged in secret by her 'boyfriend'. The clinic, the doctor's fee-- the only thing he didn't take care of was Diana. She asked me to go with her." 

"And did you?" 

I nod my head. "I wasn't allowed in the room while they did the procedure, but I was waiting for her when she came out and took care of her while she recovered. 

"Diana joined the foreign counter-terrorism unit not long after she had her pregnancy terminated. She told me she needed a change of scenery, some time to forget and pick up the pieces and she couldn't do that in D.C." 

"Mulder?" 

"Yeah?" 

Scully looks uncomfortable. She runs her tongue over her lips, averts her eyes briefly then meets my gaze. "I'm sorry, but I have to ask this. Do you really believe she was pregnant?" 

"What?" 

"Are you sure she just didn't tell you she was?" 

"What the hell kind of a question is that?" I pull my foot from her lap and sit up straight, wincing at the sudden movement. 

"Mulder, when Diana was in Europe, she used the counter terrorism unit as a cover to monitor the MUFON women." Scully pauses, her gaze intense. "Test subjects, Mulder. Women who for all intents and purposes were being experimented on for the sole purpose of becoming alienhuman hybrids." 

"Scully, we don't know that for sure." Denial is a mighty strong sword. One I find myself relying on more and more to defend against the onslaught of accusations Scully is proposing. How could the woman I protected and sat with 7 years ago, my ally in obtaining the X Files, be involved in such heinous acts of treachery against the human race? "You're reaching." I say to Scully. "You didn't see her after the operation." 

Scully remains unconvinced. "The FBI counter terrorism unit doesn't move outside of the US borders. You know that. And, if she was going to be stationed anywhere in the early nineties, it would have been in the Middle East. Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, not Europe. Don't you see what's happening? The whole thing was a cover story perpetuated by the consortium. 

"If she was never pregnant, Mulder, that would mean that she was a plant right from the start. The pregnancy act was a means for Diana to gain your trust so she could be used against you at a later date." 

"Like now? That's what I call forward planning, Scully." 

"You told me on our first case together that you were only allowed to continue your work because you had connections in Congress. Is that the same connection Diana used to get you assigned to the X files in the first place?" 

Clunk! Clunk! Clunk! Hear that? The pieces are slowly but surely falling into place. And the picture they're forming is making me sick to my stomach. Never let it be said that I need to be whacked across the head with the truth before I can see it staring me in the face. 

"All those times I've been blocked by the government. Access...to classified information denied, evidence...stolen or lost. Who better to oversee my downfall than...than the men pulling the strings? The people who put me in the X files in the first place." 

"That makes sense, but there's something that doesn't fit. Why give you the X files if you are such a danger to them?" 

"Give a man enough rope, Scully and eventually he'll hang himself." 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Cancerman told me my father was against working with the aliens. He wanted to use the alien DNA to create a vaccine. The consortium took a vote and he was the only one that voted against collaborating with them. I'm my father's son, Scully. And they knew it would only be a matter of time before I carried on his cause. Don't you see? By giving me the X files they could control what I found. How I used it. They could control me and I wouldn't even know it was happening." 

"Only you did know, Mulder. We both did." 

"And a fat lot of good it's done me. Knowledge is only a weapon if you know how to use it, Scully. And I've been duped at every turn." I laugh, a hollow bitter sound. "They've had all the aces up their sleeve: Diana, Samantha, my father." I pause and look long and hard at Scully. "And you." 

"Mulder..." 

"They sent you to debunk my work, to discredit me. To reel me in. And when that failed, they tried to take you away from me. They know that all they have to do is pull any one of those cards from their sleeve and I'll dance to their tune." 

Scully grips my arm. Her fingers curl tight around my flesh. "No. Not any more. We've beaten them, Mulder. They're dead. And we're still here. It's over." 

I shake my head. "It's not over, Scully. El Rico was a setback for the project, but not the end. You can't wipe out 50 years in one day." 

"Do you think they're regrouping?" 

I nod slowly. "There are still a number of key players alive. Cancerman, Krycek and Diana. But we've got an ace or two up our sleeve." Scully looks at me, trying to figure out what I mean. "They don't know what we know. As far as Diana is concerned, I'm still her little lap dog. And that's something we can use against her." 

Scully's gaze is unwavering as she studies my face. "Do you think she'll be back?" 

"Yeah, she'll be back. But this time I-- _we'll_ be ready for her. Unless of course you're going to take that leave, and reassignment you mentioned." 

"I didn't really mean that, Mulder." She looks sheepish. "I was hoping to jolt some sense into you to get you to talk to me." 

I chuckle softly. "I guess it worked." 

We sit for a minute, not saying anything. Scully takes one of my hands in hers, drawing lazy circles around my knuckles. A shudder runs along my spine as I contemplate the last 2 days. The near catastrophic events in West Virginia, the futile loss of human life to alien predators. And tonight, the final destruction of an illusion I've held true for the last 7 years; the loss of a friend. Even if that friendship only existed in my mind. 

Suddenly it feels as if the temperature has dropped about 10 degrees. My body trembles in response. 

"Mulder, you're shivering. Let's go home." 

She's right. I'm cold. My ankle is throbbing and the basketball court no longer feels like the haven it did just a few short hours ago. I lean down and pick up my shoe, loosening the laces as far as they'll go. "Yeah." I say, carefully sliding the shoe over my neatly wrapped ankle. "Let's get out of here." 

The End. 

Author's notes-This story was simply an act of indulgence for myself. It also acted as a means of rationalizing something that has bugged me since the end of season 5. Diana Fowley. I can't stand the woman and the thought that Mulder could have had any sort of intimate relationship with her is totally abominable to me. So, in my world, she didn't. And I'm partly justified in my belief when, in Amor Fati, Mulder has that drug-induced nightmare about marrying her. The next morning (thank you, Vickie, for pointing this out to me) he says, "Diana, you lay all this on me after I sleep with you ONE time." I rest my case.  <G>

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